No one wants to have regrets in their life, whether they are related to things they’ve done, or even more regrettable, things they never tried.
The article below provides a list to consider, so you can live regret-free.
Time, money and energy, are crucial components of everyone’s life. They are the resources that can help you live your best life.
People’s unconscious beliefs influence the flow of these resources in and out of our lives, and how we use them.
How people behave and feel in any one of those areas, is how they operate in the others. “How you do money, is how you do everything,” especially time and energy.
Take a common belief, that one should always put others first. If you are imprinted with that belief, then you will spend your currency, be it money, time or energy, on others before yourself.
It’s automatic. Decisions emerge from your hidden, unconscious belief system. You aren’t necessarily making a conscious decision. It’s what you do – what you think is right.
The same underlying belief can create powerful strength, but can also be limiting and keep you from being the person you want to be.
Awareness of the belief and its presence in your decision making is the key.
That’s where boundaries can help – imposing more conscious decision making and balance, so you don’t habitually overdo in certain areas.
Overgiving, overspending, overextending, over-worrying are all areas that may benefit from better boundaries.
Boundaries are necessary to live a life of intention, purpose, and productivity. Freedom may depend on you setting appropriate boundaries.
Boundary setting can be complicated and courageous, as you draw lines in the sand around you. You also do not want to become so inflexible that you miss opportunities for growth or joy.
Boundaries can take so many forms that it is impossible to tackle this topic fully in a blog post.
Here are a few ideas where boundaries might be needed:
- With the people in your life- family, friends, co-workers, clients, bosses, employees, committee members….
- With the information you take in – media (social and otherwise), news, gossip, advice, complaints…
- With your own thoughts, ideas and self talk…
The idea of boundary setting is more nuanced than people realize. People tend to give quick advice on the boundaries you should set.
In my opinion, this is a sensitive area. You are the best judge of where your boundaries are needed.
It’s valuable to have someone objective observe your life and patterns to point out opportunities for improving boundaries, but in the end, you must want to set up boundaries in this area because of how it makes you feel.
“Gionta has observed two key feelings in others that are red flags or cues that we’re letting go of our boundaries: discomfort and resentment. She suggested thinking of these feelings on a continuum from one to 10. Six to 10 is in the higher zone.”
If there is one area where you know yourself best, it is in how you feel. People tend to impose their own rules on others and identify boundary issues that don’t actually make you feel either uncomfortable or resentful.
Perhaps you are caring for a grandchild in your retirement. Of course, that decision creates less space for traveling. However, you do not feel resentment or discomfort with it. You actually love it.
This is an area where one person might see a need for boundaries with your daughter. Their perception is just that.
You may know you need boundaries because you feel unable to do the projects you want to do, save the money you want to save or take care of yourself the way you should.
Find what is making you feel badly in your life and address boundaries in those areas. “To thine own self be true” when it comes to boundary setting.
Most likely you could use some (we all do), but take stock of your feelings first. You might surprise yourself to learn where your personal boundaries should be.
Focus on how you can gain time, energy and money for what matters most, without sacrificing other areas that mean just as much to your life.
Be brave with this exercise, the rewards will be great.